The Apple of my Eye
by kirstencohen
Summary: She pushed her thoughts of Sandy and the boys out of her head. Isn’t this what Sandy had been doing a few weeks ago? Kirsten angst
1. Hotels

**Okay i'm stillvery mucha Kandy shipper and i know i have alot of unkandified fics out there to name a few (pain, betrayal and now this) i know i know shamless self pimping but here ya go. Enjoy.**

**Maybe some spoilers for upcoming eps.**

Kirsten stumbled into the hotel room giggling hysterically, "I can't believe they only have one room left!" She flopped back onto the bed and felt the mattress tip as he plunked himself down next to her.

"So the research went well huh?" he asked eyes sparkling.

"Oh yeah a wine tasting party with a group of pensioners will go down well with Julie Cooper-Nichol. I don't think it'll go too well with the, "Jelly shoes? The new mukluks?" She laughed. They were quiet as Kirsten closed her eyes trying to ward off the dizziness, which had suddenly over taken her. Carter stared to the ceiling smiling. He couldn't remember the last time he was drunk because he had been out drinking instead of drowning his sorrows with tequila in his apartment. Kirsten sat up and pulled off her jacket clumsily before tugging at the straps on her shoes. Carter pulled himself up from his lying position so as he was sitting next to her. He bent down and quickly unbuckled her shoes chuckling at her embarrassment.

"I didn't mean to get so drunk!" she said quietly.

"Well turning away the spit bucket certainly didn't help." Carter paused and tilted his head as Kirsten grinned. He loved how she smiled at him. There was a childlike curiosity about it and she only used it with him. Her Julie smiles were forced, Seth and Ryan smiles a mixture of pride and confusion at times. Sandy's smiles were of pure and utter adoration. Sandy. He kept saying his name over in his head trying to block out the thoughts of this married woman he knew he was falling for. But his thoughts floated back to her smiles. His smiles. Her Carter smiles that belonged to him and only him. Kirsten turned around suddenly as her cell vibrated on the dresser next to her. She reached for it lazily and flipped it open.

"Seth? Hey honey I was just about to call you." Carter breathed a sigh if relief. He was worried that Sandy would ask her to come home or offer to pick her up. Kirsten continued, "Yeah sweetie I'm gonna stay here tonight. We both drank too much to drive so… I'm with Carter… yeah don't worry sweetie I'll be home in the morning. I'll take a bus or something. Okay tell your father I'll see him tomorrow. Bye Seth." She flipped her phone closed and the room was consumed in silence. Carter was impressed at how Kirsten was able to act so sober on the phone. One hint of her son's voice and she was no longer the giggling teenager she was a moment before. Her words were no longer slurred together and drawn out. Perhaps it was a show for him, "I hope so." He thought. Kirsten looked around the room waiting for something to happen before looking down at herself.

"Looks like we'll be sleeping in these since we don't have any other clothes." Carter studied Kirsten's flimsy blue top and tight jeans. He frowned, "We left the car in the parking lot right?"

"Yeah the wine tasting was just downstairs so that's where it'll be. Why?" she asked frowning at him this time.

"Wait here," he pounced off of the bed and grabbed his car keys. Kirsten followed him and grabbed his arm, "You are not driving in this state." Her grey blue eyes screamed authority and Carter smirked. "I have a bag of laundry in my trunk. Kirsten released his arm blushing sheepishly, "And don't worry it's clean," he said smiling.

As Carter ran down the steps he felt less groggy. The alcohol seemed to be wearing off so after he collected his bag he decided to try and snag a bottle of wine from the hall downstairs. He peered around the door and found a few cleaning ladies mopping the floor. The table was still stocked with random bottles of wine obviously not cleared yet. He stepped into the hallway and one of the women turned to him accusingly as of to say "Why the hell are you here?" He pointed to the table, "I left my cell over on the table. Just gonna grab it and get out of your way." The lady went back to her mopping and Carter walked over to the table trying to find the wine he knew Kirsten favoured something about Russian River Valley. He couldn't remember and he was taking too long so he grabbed the closest bottles and hid them in his bag. He slid out of the room unnoticed and very pleased with himself.

As the door closed on Carter Kirsten looked around the room again looking for something to amuse herself. She tried the TV and got static. She searched through the drawers and found a bible and a packet of condoms obviously left by the previous occupants. This got her wondering what else hadn't been cleaned out. She scanned the bed and found nothing glaring at her. She picked up the packet and threw it into the bin. "It's not like I'm gonna need them," she joked to herself. But as her eyes travelled back to the wastebasket she let her imagination wander a little. It was like an old porn movie. Her stuck in some dirty little hotel room with her sexy new colleague as her husband sat at home with their kids oblivious to the entire thing. She cringed pushed the box all the way to the bottom of the basket making sure it was covered. She almost laughed as she realised how worked up she was getting over a box of condoms! She checked her appearance in the mirror and cringed for the second time in the space of five minutes. Her face was flushed red and her eyes were bloodshot from the alcohol. Her was sticking up on end from her climb upstairs with Carter playfully pulling her back downstairs. She crossed the room to their en suite. She grabbed her purse on the way and found some concealer, eyeliner and some mascara. She wiped off the excess makeup and started again allowing the concealer to cover up the dark circles and reapplied her mascara. She tugged at her top until it finally sat the way she wanted it. She spritzed herself with perfume and brushed her hair through straightening out all the tugs and decided she was decent enough to face the world again. Or at least Carter anyway. She sat back down on the bed and waited for him to return. He had been gone so long she was starting to wonder where he had gotten. She pushed her thoughts of Sandy and the boys out of her head. Isn't this what Sandy had been doing a few weeks ago?

Carter pushed open the door of the hotel room and found Kirsten sitting on the bed where he had left her but she looked much more composed. Her face had calmed down considerably from the drinking and giggling and her makeup wasn't as smeared as it was when he left. A small part of him gleamed when he thought of her trying to make herself look good for him. "What took you so long?" she asked. Again Carter noted the concern in her voice and smiled inwardly.

"Look what I got." He said as he reached into his hold all and pulled out a bottle of red wine. Kirsten's eyes widened in surprise before breaking into a grin.

"You stole from downstairs?" She asked laughing. Carter nodded and threw another three bottles onto the bed. He then held out his bag to Kirsten, which she took with a frown, "Choose anything you want. Just to sleep in of course." He said. She peered into the bag and found an array of t-shirts and shorts. She reached in and pulled out an oversized pair of boxer shorts covered in the alphabet.

"Wow these are sexy." She said sarcastically, "Did your mommy buy them for you?"

"Well if your gonna mock you'll have to sleep in your own underwear. Much more revealing I'd bet." Kirsten blushed. She marvelled at his ability to make her blush so suddenly with a short comment or a sideways glance. She pulled out a blue t-shirt with the words, "New York," written across it. She smiled.

"Sandy has this shirt." Carter turned to find Kirsten holding the old shirt in her hands lost in thought. She continued to search through his bag and found some board shorts before retreating to the bathroom to change. When she returned Carter had already changed into a plain white tee and some sweatpants.

"Better?" he asked as she tugged at the shorts afraid of them falling down. He pulled her toward him, "Come here." He lifted her shirt and caught a glimpse of her perfectly toned abdomen. He paused, his breath lost for a second, before reaching for the waistband and tugging at the cord to tighten them around her tiny waist. He pulled the shirt back down again and saw the "New York," writing and his thoughts went to her husband. Damn her for choosing that shirt.

Kirsten shivered as Carter's fingers ran around the inside of the waistband grazing her flesh so softly it tickled. When he pulled her top back down it came to her knees and he laughed. She smiled sadly as he noticed the, "New York," imprinted on the top. She wished she had never mentioned Sandy before. "I think I'm gonna go to bed," Kirsten said trying to fake a yawn. She just wanted to go to sleep and sober up properly so she could drive home and lie in the arms of her husband before he left for surfing.

"You don't want a some wine? I mean it's still kinda early." Carter asked placing the four bottles on the dresser.

"No but thanks. I'd rather just go to sleep. I'm kinda tired." Carter nodded defeated and turned to the double bed facing them both. They hadn't really thought about it but as there was only one room left they didn't think anymore about sharing. It hit Kirsten now like a ton of bricks. Carter held his hands up.

"Uh you go ahead. I can sleep in the chair." He gestured toward a flea bitten armchair in the corner in the room and Kirsten sighed.

"No. No honestly we can share the bed. It's big enough for two anyway so…" she climbed under the covers on the left hand side of the bed. Carter climbed into the other side, "Well your lucky I'm a right side of the bed guy or we'd have a problem on our hands." He tried to joke to break the tension but he knew it had been building since the moment the met and a bad joke wasn't gonna make a dent in it.

They both lay back to back in the darkness in silence until they both finally fell asleep.

Kirsten woke up a couple of hours later a breeze blowing in her face. She opened her eyes and found herself nose to nose with Carter. The breeze was him breathing heavily in his sleep and onto her face. She wanted to turn away. Her head was screaming at her to turn her back but all she wanted to do was place her lips on his if only for a second. His eyes fluttered open and he found her staring at him starry eyed, "Hey." He said croakily.

"Hey," she whispered. His eyes were glassy from sleep and he blinked a few times to try and see her more clearly. He wanted to remember this forever. The one night he woke up next to Kirsten Cohen. He knew it wouldn't happen again. He wanted to stroke her hair and cup he face but he knew he couldn't. They both stared at each other before Kirsten pushed herself closer to him. He brought his hand up to her face and grazed her cheek and she shuddered. He wanted to yell with joy that she wasn't pulling away. In fact she was pushing into him. Trying to get as close as she could. When her lips grazed across his he wondered if he was still asleep but as the pressure on his lips built he knew it was real and pushed Kirsten onto her back pining her down by the wrists.

Kirsten lay on the edge of the bed twisting her wedding rings around her finger. They glinted in the light and onto the sheets. She lay there for an hour waiting for him to fall asleep before letting herself cry. She had cheated on her husband. She didn't give Sandy a second thought as she writhed beneath him begging for more. With a muted cry, "Carter," it was over and he rolled onto his own side of the bed where his breathing steadied and finally fell asleep. Kirsten waited only a second longer before dressing and leaving Carter alone in the hotel room.

When she got home after paying the taxi driver fifty dollars for taking her so far she took a long shower. Making sure his smell was gone. Afraid his taste still lingered on her tongue she scrubbed her teeth clean twice with a brand new toothbrush. She pushed the thoughts of his fingers grazing her skin, his eyes roaming her body, his sweat mixing with her own, out of her mind. She crawled into bed with her husband and curled up in his arms. She told herself she'd be fine. It didn't happen. No one would have to find out. She leaned up on one elbow and kissed her slumbering husband deeply to wake him. "Hey I thought you were out for the night?"

"I took a cab." She said smiling sadly. She kissed him again even more deeply this time and Sandy smiled.

"Oh. Is this a booty call?"

"Do you want it to be?" She asked but was silenced by her husband's lips against hers. She kept her thoughts fixed on Sandy afraid her mind would wander. And she didn't want that. She didn't ever want to think of him again. Especially not her night in the hotel with Carter Buckley.

**Chapter 2 up soon**


	2. Stay Here for a While

**Okay had a thought for another chapter. Goes into a little bit more detail of the night but not too much. **

**Enjoy and please R&R**

Chapter 2

She woke up the next day shivering. Only a thin sheet covered her and the doors out to the pool were wide open allowing a chilling breeze to circulate the room. She turned and reached for her husband only to find him gone. She checked her watch. 10.45. She pulled another blanket on top of her and curled into a ball. An unwelcome soreness between her thighs turned her thoughts to the previous nights events. At the memory a sharp pain coursed though her body. She looked down at her hands again to examine her wedding bands and found dark purple bruises on her wrists. She thought back to the night before.

_Carter pinned her down forcing all of his weight on to her impeding her ability to move. He kissed her harshly on the lips forcing his tongue into her mouth. His kisses were hungry and vigorous. He tightened his grip on her wrists and she moaned softly. He smiled and tugged at her t-shirt lifting it above her head. She took this chance to move her arms from above her head to around his neck. A short moment later she bit hard on his earlobe as he pushed her arching hips back down onto the bed. She called his name softly before he rolled off of her and they both lay back panting and gasping for breath. She smiled inwardly impressed at how short it had been but nonetheless satisfied._

Kirsten ran her hands across her bruises and wondered how she would explain them. It's not like she could place Sandy as the culprit.

_As Sandy dropped a kiss on her forehead she ran her hands through his hair. He went down to her lips and kissed her gently before placing soft butterfly kisses along her collarbone. He continued to work his way down past the rise of her breasts to her perfectly toned stomach and along her thighs. She smiled enjoying his teasing. He made his way back up to her lips and gently massaged her tongue with his own. He brought her arms above her head and clasped her hands in his. "I love you," he whispered his eyes dancing with passion. "I love you too," she answered as his hands went to her waistband._

She cried softly under the blankets and cursed her weakness. She felt dirty. Almost disgusted with herself. She came home and made love to her husband only hours after fucking her co-worker. Her stomach jolted and she pounced from her bed grabbing her dressing gown on the way and wrapping it around herself before retching into the toilet. His face swam in her mind. She retched again. She'd have to see him at work. Sandy was going golfing with him in a few days. She'd have to lie to him everyday for the rest of her life. Another secret for the Cohens. She couldn't handle it but she knew that by telling him it would be selfish. She wouldn't do that to her family just to clear her conscience. It would have to eat her alive before she said anything. Or was she being selfish by keeping it from him? By saving her own skin instead of being an adult and facing up to her mistake? She heaved again for the final time and she felt her husband behind her pulling her hair from her face.

"Hey baby. You okay?" He asked. She turned to find her husband soaked through from his morning surf. The smell from the sea was overpowering but she didn't care. She threw herself onto him and cried, "Hey…" he laughed softly, "It's just a little bit of throw up." He said softly. Kirsten chuckled at Sandy's choice of words and replied smiling.

"Nice."

He pulled her closer to him and lifted her off of the floor, "You're done right?" he asked again trying to make her laugh. She nodded and buried her head into his neck. He crossed the room and laid her gently on the bed. He lay down next to her and pulled him to her. "Better?" he asked. She nodded shivering. He saw her quiver and he got up and pulled the doors closed and drew the curtain pulling the room into darkness. He got back into bed after pulling off his top and drying his body from the seawater. He pulled Kirsten toward him again and she averted her eyes from his. He frowned, "You okay?"

"Yeah I just had a little too much to drink last night," she answered. Too true. Sandy fixed his hands on her waist and placed his forehead against hers, "I wanna stay here for a while," Kirsten whispered. Sandy didn't answer. He simply drew her closer to him obviously feeling the same way. They lay there in the darkness for a while before Sandy broke the silence.

"Carter called." Sandy felt his wife tense instantly. He drew back to studying her face trying to work out what was going on with her, "He wants you to call him back." Kirsten nodded and closed her eyes. She ran her hands up and down his arm slowly tracing his muscular biceps. He was right about surfing being good exercise. She ran her fingers across his broad shoulders to his stomach. He tensed slightly as she grazed her fingers across his waist. "Ticklish," he said breathless. He brought his lips to her neck and kissed her gently. She sucked in her breath suddenly and ran her hands up his back. He pushed himself onto one elbow and looked down at her. Breathless, her eyes shining. She had never looked so beautiful. He bent down and kissed her again more forcefully on the lips but she pulled back, "Sandy I don't think…" she trailed off.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked concerned.

"I can't," she said tearful as she jumped from the bed to the bathroom. Sandy sat up and watched her in shock. What the hell was wrong with her?

**Okay I don't know whether or not to have her tell him or not. So we havefour choices.**

**_1. She says nothing and continues tortured by her secret._**

**_2. Kirsten tells him and they have an argument about betrayal._**

**_3. Carter tells him and they have an argument about betrayal and the fact that he had to hear it from someone else._**

**_4. Or I could just give up altogether and leave it where it is._**

**Personally I like number 2 I could probably write it better but I wanna see what you all want.**


	3. Edgewater 304

**Hope you like. And as always please leave a review.**

Chapter 3

Kirsten came back into the bedroom and found her husband sitting perched on the end of their now made bed, obviously waiting patiently for her return. The curtains were pulled open again and the clothes that littered the floor were thrown into the laundry basket, "You gonna tell me what's going on?" he asked in a low tone. He sounded worried almost scared of what the answer might be. Kirsten, still wrapped in only her dressing gown, remained silent. She looked at her hands trying to either think of an excuse or find the words to explain her infidelity. Sandy's eyes travelled to where Kirsten's gaze was directed and his eyes fell on the bruises on her wrists, "What happened to you?" he asked rising from the bed. Kirsten's head shot up in a panic.

"I uh what do you mean?" she asked pulling the sleeves down on her dressing gown.

"Your wrists. They're bruised. How'd this happen," Sandy asked again confused. Reaching for her hands to get a better look. He frowned at his wife as she opened her mouth in attempt to say something but closed it again when she came up with nothing.

"I…I don't… I don't know." She finished weakly, "They were there when I woke up this morning." She smiled encouragingly as if to persuade him to change the subject. He frowned for a final time before leaving her in the bedroom alone.

Kirsten showered under a red-hot jet. She scrubbed every inch of her skin raw to ensure he was gone. She was covered in his scent, his breath, his saliva, his sweat. She was drenched in him. His hands still roamed her body. She scrubbed harder not caring when she felt her skin burn with pain. She realised she must look like a crazy woman but she didn't care she just wanted him off of her. She looked down at her tender skin. Her arm now bleeding slightly from her scraping fingernails. She collapsed onto her knees and cried softly. She felt bile bubbling at the back of her throat and her stomach heaved slightly. She closed her eyes and breathed in heavily suppressing a gag. The water was cooler now and as she lay under the jet it was soothing against her burning skin. It cooled her and she found it calming.

As her breathing returned to normal she climbed out of the shower and draped a towel around her body. She saw her arm and realised she had done more damage than help. She bled slightly from a large scratch going from her shoulder to her elbow. She looked in the mirror. Her eyes red and swollen from crying. Her cheeks flushed pink from her, "panic attack." She shivered from the cold tiles beneath her feet and wrapped her towel tighter to her.

She dressed in an old long sleeved t-shirt and some baggy jeans. She had worn them once before when she cleaned out their attic. She decided that if she couldn't get rid Carter Buckley she would simply hide him.

When she appeared in the kitchen there was a note waiting for her;

_Kirsten,_

_I'll be home early. Send the boys out so we can talk. _

_I love you._

_Sandy _

_P.S. Call Carter._

Kirsten felt her chest tighten. She had to talk to him sometime. She couldn't fire him. Could she? No of course not. How could she ever explain that to Julie? To her Dad or to Sandy? They all knew how well they both got on. It'd be too suspicious. She picked up the phone and pressed the first digit before Ryan and Seth entered the kitchen babbling about the girls. They both stopped short when they saw Kirsten. Her scraped back into an untidy ponytail. No make-up and wearing the oldest, most ill fitting clothes she could find. "Mom, are you sick?" Seth asked her frowning. Sick? Of course she was sick. She fucked her colleague hours before doing the same to her husband.

"No. Why?" she answer hanging up the phone.

"You look… tired." He explained frowning, "Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I'm not going to the office today," she answered, "Working from home." With that Seth nodded and made his way to the den leaving Ryan in the kitchen, worry etched across his face. Kirsten felt her face flush under his gaze. Could he see? He had always been wise beyond his years and he could spot a liar a mile off but she prayed he'd leave it. She looked up at him suddenly and he stared back, eyes narrowed.

"You really okay?" he asked again. Kirsten smiled and nodded.

"Uh huh. I'm fine." Ryan nodded and followed Seth into the den.

Kirsten, now dressed in jeans and a brown sweater, pulled up outside the Edgewater 304 apartment block. She checked her hair and make-up in the mirror and climbed out of the car. She walked along the path past the untidy gardens and prayed he wouldn't be home. "You have to do this," she whispered to herself. When she got to his door she knocked gently almost as though she didn't want him to hear. She knocked again and waited until the door swung open to reveal a clean-shaven Carter. He was wearing a plain white tee and some baggy jeans. He smiled when he saw Kirsten standing in front of him.

"Didn't think I'd see you again. I expected my pink slip in the post this morning." He joked as he leaned against the doorframe, "You wanna come in or are you keeping a safe distance?" Kirsten folded her arms across her chest and looked at the ground.

"I need to talk to you, Carter." She said softly trying to avoid his eyes trailing her body. He stepped aside and guided Kirsten into his apartment. He gestured to a seat but she waved him off, "Listen. I came to apologise about last night. I didn't mean…"

"I know and I'm sorry too. You're married and… I'm sorry. I just hope we can still get along. Do this magazine together but I understand if… you know you want me gone."

"No, no it's… it's fine we can be grown up about this." She said nodding frantically trying to convince herself she was right.

"Okay. So uh it never happened. We're just friends and… that's it." He paused and looked at Kirsten, "What about Sandy? You gonna tell him?" Kirsten turned and shrugged.

"I don't know." She said finally.

"Well whatever you do, I think I'll cancel our golfing appointment next week." He laughed. Kirsten smiled weakly and ignored the flutter in her stomach as Carter placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her out of the door. "See you at work." She nodded and waited for him to close the door before making her way back out to the car. Now all she had to do was figure out whether or not to be honest or try and save her marriage.

Kirsten pulled into the empty driveway and breathed a sigh of relief. Thankful for the time alone she poured herself a glass of wine to calm her nerves. She weighed up her options. Tell Sandy and risk losing him, her sons and her home. He could forgive her. She forgave him after all. He was holed up in a motel screwing his ex and she took him back. But her marriage was already tainted as it was. Could this be the final nail in the coffin? She'd be disrupting her entire family's life. Ryan and Seth would be devastated. Sandy would be inconsolable. But wasn't it better to be honest? If she didn't tell the truth she'd have to lie again to as to why she was acting so strangely that morning. She sighed and drank deeply from her glass before pouring another.

She heard a noise behind her and found Ryan and Seth standing in the doorway of the kitchen watching Kirsten finish off a bottle of wine. "Hey," she said softly. She was slightly giddy but not entirely drunk so she got to her feet and handed the boys her credit card, "You guys cannot be here right now so I am banning you from this house until later tonight. Your father and I need some time alone." Seth grimaced.

"Jesus, mom! In future could you just lie and tell us you're having a party or something?" he said grabbing the card from her loose grasp. Ryan nodded mutely and followed Seth to the hall. "Can we take your car?" Seth yelled to his mother who then threw the keys to her son.

"Be careful." Kirsten yelled and settled herself back onto the stool pushing her glass away. She couldn't afford to be drunk for this.

**Please R&R**


	4. Truth

**I wrote this chapter like three weeks ago and lost it so that's why its taken me so long to update. **

**Hope you like. And as always please leave a review they inspire me to write more.**

Chapter 4

"Kirsten!" Sandy called out. He dropped his briefcase in the hall and scanned the house for any sign of life.

"In the kitchen." She yelled back. She sat still propped on the stool at the island, "Hey," she greeted sadly. Sandy smiled and dropped a kiss on her forehead, "How was work?" she asked softly.

"Uh… it was okay. How was your day. Feeling better? Still feeling sick?" he asked and placed his hand on her forehead. She smiled again more sdaly knowing he'd never look at her the same way after this. Kirsten shook her head, "I don't feel sick."

"So tell me. What's wrong?" He sat on the stool facing her and pulled her hands into his, "Is it work?" he asked running through the possibilities in his head. He knew something was up and it was serious. Kirsten's breath quickened and she tightened her sweaty grip on her husband.

"I'm sorry." She started tearfully. Sandy tipped her chin toward him.

"Hey, hey whatever it is we can fix it. Okay?" he said again smiling. He cupped her face in his hands forcing her gaze upon him, "Okay?" he said again. He hoped she was making a big deal out of nothing but the pained look on her face shot fear to his core. He thought about the bruises on her wrist and his heartbeat quickened. Had someone hurt her? The only person she had been with was Carter and he knew he wouldn't have hurt her. Would he?

"I slept with Carter." She said suddenly. She let out another sob and watched as her husband's face changed from sympathetic to confused.

"What?" he asked winded. He tightened his grip slightly on her hands.

"I'm sorry, Sandy. It just happened and I've been killing myself trying to figure out what to do…"

"Well boo fucking hoo! When?" He asked angrily. He threw Kirsten's hands from him. Kirsten looked at the floor and watched as her tears fell onto her lap. Sandy grabbed Kirsten by the shoulders and shook her slightly, "Tell me, Kirsten."

"Last night," her voice was barely a whisper. Sandy dropped his grip and turned his back to her.

"Why?" he asked softly. His voice trembled. Kirsten closed her eyes guilt coursing through her.

"I don't know, Sandy." Sandy turned around his face tearstained and pained.

"Please. Tell me why. Aren't I good enough? You don't want me anymore? Our family? Did you think of Seth? Or Ryan? Do you even care what you've done?"

"What about you! This time last month you were fucking your ex-girlfriend in a motel."

"I told you that NOTHING happened. How many times?" he paused trying to catch his breath and Kirsten got up from the stool, "So what it was revenge? You wanted to get me back?"

"No… I just… I DON'T KNOW, SANDY! Please I'm sorry what do you want me to do?" Kirsten asked almost screaming. Sandy turned around suddenly realising something.

"This happened last night?" Kirsten nodded and Sandy continued, "So you came home after being with him and made love to me?" he said in disgust. Kirsten crouched against the refrigerator, "Is that what happened?"

"Yes." She whispered.

"So what? You could do it last night but this morning you just weren't in the mood enough to lie?" Kirsten shook her head slowly.

"You know that's not it."

"I thought I knew a lot of things, Kirsten. I thought that you loved me, that you cared about our marriage, our family but all you really wanted was to get laid."

"How can you say that? That's not what it was…"

"Then why don't you tell me what it was, Kirsten? Huh? Go on tell me. Tell me everything I wanna know. Was he good?"

"Sandy, don't do this please listen to me." she stood up and turned her husband toward her, "I love you. Sandy, I love you so much please forgive me." she pulled him in and kissed him gently on the lips he responded slightly before pushing her away.

"Don't. Just… don't." he said as he left her alone in the kitchen. She followed him out to the hall where he grabbed his car keys and pulled the door open.

"So what you're leaving me?" she asked sadly, "This is it. We're done?"

"I don't know Kirsten. Could you? If it was me?" he asked.

"I did."

"No you didn't. I didn't sleep with Rebecca. NOTHING happened."

"Well I didn't believe and you and I still forgave you." She said her voice rising.

"Well maybe you're a better person than I am." he answered and slammed the door behind him. The next that came was the sound of the exhaust and squealing tyres.

Kirsten went back into the kitchen and grabbed another bottle of wine. She unscrewed the cap and sucked down the burning liquid as quickly as she could. She grabbed her car keys and headed for the door stumbling slightly as she climbed the steps.

She passed the messy gardens and the rusty stairwell until she came to a familiar blue door. She knocked twice and waited for him to answer. As the door swung open she saw that he was still wearing the same clothes but was scruffier. He saw her red bloodshot eyes and flushed cheeks, "Kirsten are you…" he was silenced by her lips pressed upon his own. He pulled back, "What are you doing?" he asked trying to catch his breath. She kissed him again harder this time and swung the door shut behind them.

He could taste the liquor on her breath and he frowned. He shouldn't be doing this. A drunk, married woman with children but as she reached into his jeans he moaned slightly. He lifted her easily and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He slammed her hard into the wall and she stared at him shocked for a second before pulling off her sweater, "Kirsten?" he asked again, "Are you sure you…" she put her hand across his mouth.

"Shut up."

He pushed himself against her and kissed her neck gently. She pulled his head up roughly by the hair and kissed him harshly probing his tongue with hers. She didn't want sex. She didn't want to make love. She just wanted to get fucked and she knew he could give it to her. He slammed her harder into the wall and she groaned. She reached down and unbuckled his belt. He smiled. She didn't mess around. Straight and to the point is what she wanted. He could do that. He pulled off her jeans easily and tossed them to the floor before starting on her neck again.

Kirsten pulled on her sweater quickly and then her jeans, "I have to go." She muttered. Carter reached out and pulled her toward him.

"I don't want you to go."

"I have to. I need to get back." She said realising she didn't want to leave either.

"So what was that? A mistake. Again. Or did it mean something?" Kirsten paused for a second before reaching up on her tiptoes and pressing her lips onto Carter's. His kisses were usually hungry and harsh but this time he was soft. His tongue danced with her own their lips parting only slightly allowing him to slide his tongue in and out.

"I'll be back," she promised. She took two fingers and kissed them before pressing them onto his cheek.

**Please R&R**


	5. Life's A Beach

**It's been so long since I updated but I have finals right now so all my fics are on hiatus for a few weeks. Thanks for the reviews you guys are all awesome. Make sure you keep doing it!**

**Enjoy.**

Chapter 5

Kirsten arrived home to find Seth and Ryan in the kitchen. They glanced up to say a quick hello but paused before either could say a word. They scanned her appearance stopping at the most obvious places. Her hair stood up in end and her cheeks were flushed pink. Her lips were swollen and red and she was shaking slightly, "Are you okay?" Seth asked concerned. Kirsten, still surprised that the boys were home before eleven, opened her mouth to think of an excuse but nothing came to her. Images of lips and hands roaming her body raced through her mind. She shook her head.

"I'm fine. What are you guys doing home?"

"Seth and Summer had a fight. So here we are," Ryan answered slowly, "What happened to you?" he asked. Kirsten patted at her hair and smiled.

"It's just been a hard day. I'm gonna take a shower." She turned and left the boys in the kitchen gazing after her, worry etched on both of their faces.

Kirsten reached the bedroom and found it the way she left it. She pulled off her sweater and jeans till she was standing in her underwear. She stood in front of the mirror and examined the damage. Her neck was lined with bite marks and the bruises on her wrists, even worse than the previous morning, were now glaringly obvious. She ran her tongue across her bottom lip and tasted the faint tang of blood. Her bones ached and her knees were still shuddering under her weight. She remembered the aftermath of the first time and how consumed with guilt she was. This time was different. She didn't feel sick or nauseous. She knew that she'd probably feel that later but for right now she was somewhat happy. With Sandy gone she didn't need to feel so guilty. She pushed Seth and Ryan to the back of her mind. She wondered what she wanted with Carter. She couldn't imagine settling down with him; moving in, getting married, growing old. It wasn't like that. He was her drug. She craved him, his body, his touch, his kisses. She used think her attraction stemmed from his likeness to Sandy. His passion, his ideals, his outlook on life. That was her excuse. Her last chance to cling to her husband. But when she was with him she never marvelled at his ideas or what he thought about certain topics. She watched how he moved. So carefully. She examined him as his back muscles flexed under his thin t-shirt. At how his biceps bulged under his sleeves. She gazed at his strong legs as he bent down to lift his surfboard. She recalled the day she went along to watch Sandy and Carter surf.

_Kirsten lay back in the sun allowing the sun to soak into her skin. She heard laughter coming from the water and she propped herself up on her elbows. She smiled as Sandy fell sideways into the water. Carter stood shakily on his board before he too plunged into the sea. As his head bobbed back up his dark hair gleamed in the sun. She saw Sandy at the corner of her eye blowing her a kiss and she turned slightly pretending her fixation was on her husband. _

_Kirsten lay on her front to let the sun bronze her back. The heat was making her sleepy on the sand so she closed her eyes allowing the noise of the beach to ebb to the back of her mind. She sighed heavily before feeling small prickles on her back. She opened her eyes lazily and saw pair of feet in front of her. She spun onto her back and found Sandy hovering above her. He sprinkled excess water from his fingers onto her stomach. "Hey!" she protested giggling. _

"_Sorry baby," he apologised. He kneeled down next to her and kissed her gently on the lips._

"_You finished surfing?" Kirsten asked hoping they could go back home to their empty house. Sandy shook his head._

"_Nah I'm gonna head back out. Carter's pretty good out there. Needs to work on his balance but he seems to be enjoying himself." Kirsten nodded as she watched Carter walk back up the beach toward them. When he reached them he propped his board up in the sand and sat down heavily on the sand. _

"_I'm beat," he said breathless, "I can barely feel my legs." Sandy chuckled._

"_Yeah well you just need more practise. Your body will get used to it soon enough. You coming back out?" Carter shook his head._

"_Nah I'm gonna try and catch my breath," he laughed. Sandy dropped a kiss on Kirsten's forehead and trailed his fingers across her torso as he plodded back down the beach. Kirsten noticed Carter staring at her and she suddenly felt very on show. She desperately wanted to grab a towel and wrap it around her body. She may as well be naked. She cursed herself for wearing this bikini. She smiled as Carter's gaze finally rested on her eyes. He wasn't even trying to hide that he was staring. She blushed slightly and looked back out to sea._

_Carter watched the waves crash against the shore trying to distract his thoughts. He felt his back begin to nip slightly in the sun. He reached for his t-shirt and dusted the sand off, "How can you wear that in this heat?" Kirsten asked. He noticed her nose crinkle as she squinted in the light. The crystal blue of her eyes shining in the light. He smiled slightly._

"_Yeah well my back's burning so…" he pulled his t-shirt over his head._

"_Put some sun block on then," she said frowning in protest as he pulled his t-shirt over his taught stomach. Carter laughed._

"_I'm actually just leaving. Gonna do some more magazine stuff."_

"_What stuff?" she asked anxious to know why she had been left out._

"_Don't worry. Just dotting the i's and crossing the t's." Kirsten grinned and watched as he collected his things, "Do you think Sandy would mind if I held onto this for a while… just till I get my own?" He asked holding up the yellow surfboard Sandy had gotten from Rachel a year before._

"_Nah it's fine. Hold onto it he has like a million boards anyway."_

"_Thanks. I'll see you at work." He waved shyly and made his way up the beach leaving Kirsten alone on the sand._

Kirsten sighed and spun around as a cough from the doorway interrupted her thoughts.

**Thanks for reading. Please review.**


	6. No more drinks for Sandy!

**Yeah so apparently I'm pissing people off with my fics. Their poor little Kandy hearts can't take the anguish. S my only advice to all you people is to stop reading. **

**For those of you who DO like it thanks for the reviews. This chapter's a little more tame and Kandy friendly.**

Chapter 6

Kirsten gasped and pulled her robe around her realising she was still in her underwear. "Ryan?" she said breathless, "You okay?" He hovered in the doorway for a second before stepping into the room.

"Yeah. You okay?" he asked softly. Kirsten laughed slightly.

"Yeah I'm fine you just startled me." Ryan ran his eyes over her appearance again. He squinted at the marks on her neck but left it afraid Sandy was the culprit. E thought for a moment and realise he hoped it was Sandy. Kirsten stood waiting impatient, "Did you want something?" she asked irritably trying to ignore his wandering gaze. She felt her heart quicken as he paused on her neck. Ryan shook his head.

"No. Just wanted to see if you were okay. And to ask where Sandy is. He's not home yet and it's almost twelve. Weren't you two having some alone time tonight?" he said his mouth curling slightly.

Kirsten tried to think desperately of an excuse. Could she tell him? Would she have to tell Seth and Ryan together? Should she wait for Sandy? And what would she tell them? The truth? Could she lie?

This time it was Ryan who was growing impatient. Kirsten came back to earth, "Oh yeah, Sandy, he had a… a case that was really last minute and… well I actually have no idea you know lawyer/client confidentiality and all and… uh I don't know when he'll be home sweetie." Ryan frowned. Maybe it wasn't just Sandy Seth had inherited his babbling from. He nodded and turned slowly out of the room leaving Kirsten with her thoughts. She crossed the room and perched herself on the edge of the bed, She reached for the phone and dialled.

"Sandy? Where are you?"

Music ebbed through the phone.

"I… uh Kirsten? Is that you?" he called loudly over the music.

"Yeah Sandy it's me where are you," she yelled back.

"I'm just having a few drinks. Why?"

"I need to talk to you, Sandy. We need to talk about what we're gonna tell the boys."

"Okay, I uh I'll come back now," Sandy slurred through the phone. She heard the faint sound of rattling keys.

"NO! God Sandy, don't drive. Where are you and I'll come get you." Kirsten reached for a pair of jeans and her sweater.

"I'm at the… the place I go… you know when I have a drink… the place Kirsten," he said irritated. Kirsten giggled at his frustration.

"Ok I know where you are. I'll be there in five minutes okay. Don't drive okay?"

"Yeah sure." Was his response before he hung up. Kirsten knew she didn't have enough time to shower if she was going to make it there before he tried to get into his car so she pulled on some jeans and her sweater, grabbed her keys and headed for the door. As Kirsten reached the lobby she heard the sound of silverware on glass coming from the kitchen. She saw Ryan eating cereal propped up on one of the stools. Seth was thumbing through one of his comic books. There were both surprisingly quiet. "Hey guys, what you doing?" she asked softly. Seth glanced up at his mother.

"I am just about to go to bed. Where you going?"

"Oh, your father, he's at a bar. I have to go pick him up." She explained. Ryan frowned. But Seth interrupted before he could say anything.

"Ryan said you told him Dad was at work." Kirsten stared at her sons eyes wide.

"Uh yeah he was but he went out for drinks after. With his client and he can't drive so I'm gonna have to leave so… uh get to bed you guys have school in the morning." She said sternly before heading out the door.

She pulled up to the doors of the bar to find her husband slumped against the wall. She jumped from her seat and ran to his side, "Sandy? Baby wake up." She ordered as she tapped his face. His eyelids fluttered open and he smiled.

"Kirsten, they threw me out. No more drinks for Sandy," he laughed. Kirsten lifted him to his feet and wrapped her arm around his waist. As he landed heavily on his seat he grabbed Kirsten's hand, "I love you." He looked up at her his blue eyes heavily dilated but still with a sliver of brilliant blue shining through. He said it again more clearly, "I love you, Kirsten." Kirsten's heart skipped a beat but she quickly recovered and dropped a kiss on his sweaty forehead.

"I love you too, baby. Let's get home." She walked around the car slowly a dull ache in the pit of her stomach. Now the guilt hit her full force. She didn't even want Carter anymore. She was so confused.

One the one hand she had the most incredible guy she had ever met. She loved him more than anything and he adored her. Everything about their marriage was perfect but over the past year they had been slipping. It was he own fault. She blamed him for Seth. She'd barely talk to him unless it was about the re-model or Theresa's progress. She wouldn't let him near her. Emotionally and physically. She slept on the far edge of the bed out of his reach. She thought when the boys returned they'd be able to rebuild. They were almost there when Rebecca arrived and ripped it apart. They were tainted. Broken. Unfixable in her eyes. She gave up. She got rid of her wedding rings. Well, for a while, but she tried again. When Carter had shown up it was the easy way out. She didn't want to fight anymore. After rejecting his touch for so long as she now craved it. Not from her husband but anyone. She longed to be touched, kissed, held the way Sandy used to.

She was shaken from her thoughts when a horn sounded on the road. She quickly climbed into the car and found a slumbering Sandy at her side. She pulled the door closed and he opened his eyes, "You made it to the car then huh?" he asked sarcastically. Kirsten smiled and revved the engine.

"Kirsten, I think we need to talk.

**Thanks for reading please R&R.**


	7. Not Gone Yet

**Okay it's been forever and I'm sorry but it's been pretty hectic with exams and end of school shit. SO it's a pretty big update (for me anyway lol) so enjoy.**

**Thanks Panz, Britgirl2003, becahbabe666, and my chicas Sunny and Mickey for the reviews. I love em all!**

**Hope you like and please review**

Chapter 7

They drove in silence for what seemed an eternity before Sandy cleared his throat, "Pull in here," he ordered. Kirsten frowned.

"Sandy I'm not talking to you about this in a parking lot." She said exasperated. Sandy shook his head.

"No we'll go down to the beach. It's quiet and away from the boys. I think I could use the fresh air anyhow." He unbuckled his seatbelt as Kirsten pulled into a parking space. She turned to her husband who was fumbling with the car door.

"Maybe we should wait till you get some sleep, some coffee… some xanax?" she said concerned. He finally got the door open and stumbled out of the car. She sighed heavily and followed suit. He took a few deep breaths.

"Better." He whispered. He bent down and removed his shoes clumsily and rolled his jeans above his ankles. Kirsten frowned not knowing what he was planning but went along with it anyway. She watched him stumble slightly as he straightened up.

"Sandy, maybe we should talk about this once you're sober."

"No. I can't sleep on this, Kirsten. And right now I'm calm enough t talk to you." He said while heading for the sand. Kirsten sighed and followed him toward the sea. There was a slight nip in the air and Kirsten pulled her sweater closer to her body. Sandy sat down heavily in the sand. He reached up for her hand and pulled her down next to him. He saw her shiver in the cold and he draped his jacket over her shoulders, "I need to know, Kirsten. I need to know everything." Kirsten looked away and closed her eyes. She felt him entangle his fingers in her own and squeezed her hand gently, "Please, Kirsten." She looked back at him and saw his eyes glisten.

"You know everything, Sandy." She said sighing. Sandy shook his head and brought both hands up to her face forcing her gaze on him.

"No, I don't. I don't know why you stayed at the hotel in the first place when you ended up getting a cab anyway, I don't know why you felt the need to go to someone else when I was right here, I don't know how you could come home to me hours after being with him but the next day you can't even look me in the eye… I need to know." Kirsten dropped her gaze and twisted her wedding ring on her finger. The wind began to build and Kirsten's hair swept over her face. Sandy brushed it away, "Tell me, Kirsten," he said harshly. She nodded and pulled his hands from her face. She had never seen such sadness in his eyes. She had hurt him so much the ache in her stomach spread to her chest. She knew whenever he was hurting so was she.

"Okay. Where will I start?" she asked.

"When did it start?" he said. She noted the exhaustion in his voice. She knew he must've gone through this a million times in his head.

"Well, the entire… thing has been since he got here but… it all happened at Feather Brooke," she said sighing not wanting to think about it anymore. She wished she could just wipe it all away. Sandy nodded urging her to continue, "We were both really drunk and there was only one room left… it just kinda happened." She paused watching the sting. He visibly flinched. She knew he could see it in his head. He saw them kissing and touching each other. She knew because she had been doing the same with him and Rebecca a few weeks ago. But at least she was never sure. He swore nothing happened and as much as she didn't believe him at least she had a sliver of hope left but his was gone.

"Why?" he said whimpering slightly. Kirsten let out a small sob and shook her head.

"I wanted you back," she whispered sadly. Sandy frowned.

"What are you talking about?"

"You left me!" she said loudly, "You left me to go to _her._ You left me alone when you knew I needed you to go be with her. You said you'd be right back and you showed up three hours later. You were gone, Sandy." Kirsten bent her knees and rested her elbows on them before gazing at the sea, a small tear making its way down past her cheek dropped onto the sand. She watched as it disappeared through the grains. She wished she could do that with the past. Just make it disappear.

"I'm sorry." He whispered softly. "I know I hurt you but I was never gone. You never lost me." he said desperately, "How could you even think that? You could never lose me." he paused again and darted a look at his wife who was running her fingers through the sand, "Why didn't you tell me about this?" he asked.

"Because I shouldn't have to," she said turning to him. Her tear stained face gleamed in the moonlight and his heart broke, "You should know not to leave your wife alone on Valentines Day to go see your criminal ex-girlfriend. I shouldn't have to tell you that." Sandy remembered his wife's previous words.

"I wanted you back."

He frowned again still not understanding fully, "So you thought that by sleeping with Carter you would scare me enough to come back? But I never left and… Kirsten I don't understand." Kirsten laughed softly and dipped her head. When she brought her head back up she was smiling.

"Carter _is_ you, Sandy. He's the shadow of you twenty years ago. He has the same passion, charisma and ideals on life as you did. He looks at me the way you used to. When he touched me I felt alive, the way you used to make me feel. Now I feel like we're sleepwalking through life. Through this marriage. We're together because we're both too lazy to get up and do something about it. I wanted you back, Sandy. I wanted the man I married back in my life. And maybe it was only for a little while but… I still got it." She paused and sighed, "So what's your excuse." She asked suddenly. Sandy sighed heavily.

"I told you that nothing happened with her."

"That's a lie," she said and got to her feet. She dusted the sand from her jeans and started walking up the beach, "What you had with her may not have been physical but it was certainly emotional and that's just as bad." She said as she stormed away from his hunched figure on the sand. He was quick to follow; the alcohol not such a hindrance as the air cleared his head. Kirsten spun on her heel to face him, "Don't you dare tell me nothing happened with her. Don't you dare stand there and lie to me. Not to my face. If you loved me you would tell me the truth." Sandy stopped short. He had never seen her so mad. He knew it had been building. Maybe this was what happened when people bottled up their feelings. He sighed.

"I kissed her." As he finished he felt a sharp slap on the side of the face, "Kirsten, you slept with him! How can you stand there and play the innocent?"

"You lied to me. You lied to me for months and you never faltered in telling me that nothing happened when you knew I would've forgiven you. I slept with Carter but I told you about it. I was too full of guilt to keep it to myself. I didn't want to lie to you, Sandy. I couldn't carry the guilt of doing something like that to you."

"You were selfish. YOU couldn't carry the guilt. YOU couldn't keep it to yourself. YOU couldn't hold it in. It's all YOU, YOU, YOU! What about us, Kirsten? Ryan and Seth? Do you care about them? Do you care about our family?" Kirsten stood rigid before crumpling into a ball on the sand. She sobbed loudly into her hands. Sandy was at her side in a second cradling her on his lap.

"I'm sorry. Sandy, I'm so sorry." She said through tears. Sandy stroked her hair and rocked her back and forth, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

"I know baby me too." Kirsten looked up into his eyes. She had once heard that the eyes were the windows to your soul. As she looked into his eyes she saw nothing but sadness and disappointment. All because of her. She sat up and faced him.

"You said I could never lose you." She said desperately, "Did you mean it?" Sandy closed his eyes and dipped his head, "Sandy, look at me." she said softly, "Sandy, I love you." Sandy shook his head.

"Where?" he asked, "Where is this love? I can't feel it anymore Kirsten. You would never do that to me if you loved me." Kirsten lifted his hand and placed it on her heart.

"It's here. It's always been here. I made a mistake. So did you and I forgive you. I don't care about her anymore Sandy, I care about you. I love you. Please, Sandy."

"I love you too." He paused and felt his heart crack a little more, "But I can't forgive you. Not yet." Kirsten nodded and dropped her head. She knew if she told him about her second time with Carter he'd never take her back. He was right telling him would be selfish. Wouldn't it? No. She didn't care he was never going to find out. She felt Sandy's finger under her chin pushing her head up to face him. He bent down close to her and dropped a light kiss on her lips, "But I still love you, Kirsten. I just need time. I promise I'm not gone yet."

**Please Review even if you hate it but again NO FLAMES PLEASE!**


	8. Bed Time

**Thanks for all the reviews they were awesome. **

**So another chapter for ya all and it's not as good as I wanted and I didn't think it really served a purpose as I was re-reading but it gives a bit of an insight to Sandy's feelings on everything.**

**Please Review! **

Chapter 8

Kirsten gripped the steering wheel and fixed her eyes on the road. She glanced over at Sandy and saw him eyes down twisting his wedding ring on his finger. She looked back at the road. The silence was almost unbearable. He coughed lightly and she jumped startled. Thankfully the drive wasn't long so when she pulled into the driveway she took the opportunity to check her face in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy from crying and her mascara was still smudged from her earlier dalliance with Carter. She figured the boys wouldn't be up anyway but the figure of her tall lanky son appeared in the doorway before she reached the steps, "I thought you were just picking him up," he said accusingly. She noted the panic in his tone. He had obviously been worried. Sandy jumped in before she could answer.

"Yeah we went for a drive but we thought you'd be asleep." He said his words not as slurred as they were previously. Seth frowned.

"Why are you going out for drives at two o'clock in the morning? I thought you been abducted or something." He said waving his hands in the air. Sandy simply smiled and pulled Kirsten close to him.

"Ahh son I'm sure if we told ya you'd never look at us the same way again." Kirsten looked at her husband in surprise. With his arm wrapped firmly around her waist and his eyes shining mischievously she could almost remember the time before Rebecca and Carter. She grinned at her son as his face twisted in disgust.

"Ugh God Dad! Just _lie_ next time okay?" he said desperately. Just as they climbed the steps Ryan appeared in the doorway.

"Where were you guys? You left like an hour and half ago. I thought you were just at the pier?" Ryan held the phone in his hand as he looked expectantly at the party of three on the doorstep. Seth shook his head and placed an arm around his shoulder.

"Seriously dude. You don't wanna know." At that Ryan grinned and shook his head.

"Went for a detour huh?" he asked as Sandy passed him in the hall. Sandy turned and winked at both his sons before following his wife up to their bedroom.

Kirsten reached the bed and turned to face Sandy, "So how's this gonna work?" she asked shakily. Sandy frowned confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Like are we still sharing a bed or I mean we're gonna have to tell the boys if…" she was stopped short as Sandy took her hands in his.

"We're gonna be okay." He said confidently, "Do you want me to sleep in a guest room?"

"No." Kirsten answered quickly, "I just… I wanna do this right. I don't wanna mess up again and if you need to be away from me for a while then… then I understand." Kirsten flicked her hair from her eyes and looked at her husband in anticipation. Sandy closed his eyes and sighed.

"Let's just go to sleep." He said exhausted. Kirsten smiled.

"Okay but… I'm gonna take a shower first. I feel grimy… from the sand." She explained. Sandy nodded and watched as she retreated to the bathroom.

Kirsten pulled off her sweater and her jeans and stood in front of the mirror again.

How the heck was she supposed to hide this?

She saw that bite marks had died down considerably so they were barely noticeable but her wrists had gone a deep purple and yellow. Her lip was cut inside in the shape of his teeth and her back had a bruise where she had been pressed against the edge of the desk. She grimaced and closed her eyes. "It's fine. They were there from before." She whispered to herself before climbing under the lukewarm jet.

Sandy undressed as quickly as his weary body would allow. When he reached his boxers he threw himself back onto the bed. The sudden burst of running water signalled that Kirsten had just climbed into the shower.

He wanted to get over it. He even understood why she did it. He blamed himself partly. He had abandoned her, he had pushed her away. He had pushed her right into his arms. But he managed to contain himself. He had been in love with Rebecca, he had proposed marriage and when she left he was heartbroken. Then finally he had her back and he had only slipped up once. It was just a kiss.

How could she betray him like that with a man she had only just met?

No matter how much Carter reminded her of him it was no excuse for jumping into bed with him. He remembered how he had taken him surfing. Introduced him to Erin. Helped him get to know some of the locals and all the while he was probably jerking off to his wife.

His face reddened in anger as images of them together invaded his thoughts. He could picture it in his head. He could see her face twisting in pleasure the way it had so many times before with him. Her calling his name in the same breathless voice that she had called his. He felt sick to think of him touching her. Going places that only he was allowed to go. He thought of her lying next him. Carter Buckley had tainted their marriage. He had tainted her. She wasn't his perfect wife anymore. She was one of Carter's conquests at the expense of his heart. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the bathroom door creaking open. He turned to her dressed in an oversized t-shirt and a pair of his board shorts. She stood awkwardly in the doorway for a second not knowing what to do. She looked petrified of making the wrong move. Sandy smiled slightly and stuck out his hand pulling her in beside him. He turned onto his side allowing her to press her back against his chest. She clutched both hands in her against her heart and sighed.

She closed her eyes and tried to pretend everything was normal. He bent his head down and nestled his nose into the back of her neck breathing in her scent. He tried to ignore the bruises on her wrists and when she winced as he pulled her closer he tried not to think of what damage was under her shirt. Kirsten grew restless and turned to face him. She looked deep into his eyes but was unable to read him. All she saw was exhaustion. She curled her leg around his and pressed her body against his chest. He dropped a kiss on her forehead and tried to drift off to sleep.

An hour later they both lay awake in the same position. Sandy was the first to move, "I can't sleep." He said throwing his legs out of the side of the bed. Kirsten sighed and watched as he pulled on his robe.

"Me either." He turned to her and saw her eyes clouded with fatigue. In normal circumstances he would have jumped back into bed next to her in the hope of tiring them both out enough to fall off to sleep. Instead he sighed and tightened his robe.

"I'm gonna have some coffee or something."

"Yeah that'll help you sleep," she joked awkwardly. Sandy smiled.

"Yeah well I need to think. Alone." He exited the room quickly closing the door firmly behind him.

Kirsten rolled onto her own side and stared at a picture taken at the Lindsay coming out party/ Newport Living announcement. They were both pissed at each other that night and yet they managed to pose for a photo when asked. She realised they were pretty good at brushing things under the carpet. Hiding their secrets from the world and their family. There were too many secrets in the family and she had just created a new one. She just hoped this one would never be revealed. 

**Hope you liked**


	9. A Handshake and a Resignation

**Okay so I finally updated. Hallelujah!**

**Enjoy**

Chapter 9

Sandy sipped his coffee slowly realising he was half way through his second pot. His head still thudded from the scotch he'd gulped down the previous night. He stared out to the patio bathed in the dim morning sunlight and sighed. This time yesterday he was waking up to go surfing. He had finally come to a decision after three hours of thinking. His thoughts were interrupted by Kirsten's hand on his shoulder. He turned to see that she hadn't slept either, "Hey." She whispered sadly. Sandy smiled softly and dipped his head.

"Morning." He replied in a whisper. Kirsten sat down on the stool next to him and watched him intently.

"I wanted to come down earlier but… I know you wanted time to think…" she paused before continuing, "Have you? Had enough time? Because if you haven't we can…"

"Kirsten." Sandy interrupted her. He took both her hands in his and rested them on his knees, "I love you. I know we can get through this." Kirsten visibly relaxed. She smiled in relief but Sandy continued, "But we can't do that with Carter still here." His name stuck in the back of Sandy's throat and Kirsten flinched slightly at the sound of it. "I know you can't fire him but Kirsten he can't be here. In our lives like this. We need a fresh start." Kirsten nodded.

"You want me to quit?" she said shakily. Sandy noted the sadness in her tone. He knew her job was important to her but the thought of her being unemployed was as scary to him as it was her. Sandy shook his head.

"No. I mean I don't think that would help. I want you to quit the magazine. It's not like he has any other ties with the company and that way he'd be out of our way."

"Sandy," she said softly, "It doesn't matter whether I'm in the magazine or not I'm still gonna see him. He'll be at the office all the time." Sandy closed his eyes and sighed. The ache in his stomach spread to his chest causing it to tighten.

"Well then we're just gonna have to deal with that. You can't fire him. It's illegal and you can't quit because well… you're neurotic." He smiled at his own joke and Kirsten beamed.

"I love you so much," she said tearfully, "I'm so sorry I didn't want… this shouldn't have happened and it's all my fault and now everything's changed…"

"Shhh sweetie. Look things changed a long time ago. We've just been pretending it's not there. We'll get through this. I promise." Kirsten choked out one last sob and wiped her tears. In normal circumstances she would have held on to Sandy for as long as she could until the pain went away but she wasn't sure just how ready he was. She had made a mess of everything. It was so bad she couldn't hug her husband without giving the action a full analysis. Before she could say anything else Sandy had pulled her onto his lap and kissed her forehead. She figured he thought an actual kiss would be too much.

Yeah she had made a class A fuck up of this.

For the third time in two days she stood in front of the blue door feeling nervous. She knocked for the third time when it was flung open by Carter dressed in only a towel. Kirsten blushed and averted her eyes.

"Why so shy Mrs Cohen?" he asked grinning. He reached for her hand but she pulled away causing him to frown, "He wants you back doesn't he?" Kirsten sighed.

"Can I come in?" she asked shakily. Carter stepped back and allowed her inside.

"Wait in the living room and I'll get dressed." He said sadly knowing that Kirsten wasn't there for another booty call.

When he returned from the bathroom he had managed to pull on a pair of jeans but remained topless. Kirsten rolled her eyes. How uncomfortable was he trying to make this? He settled himself in a chair in front of her and waited for her to begin. Kirsten sat rigid unable to open her mouth. His gaze was steely and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat unsure of how to start.

"I made a mistake… coming back here last night was… I'm sorry." She finished uncertainly. She tugged at the sleeves of her shirt and waited for him to reply.

"Is this what you do Kirsten?" he said steadily not trying to hide the anger in is tone, "You lure guys in and when you don't want them anymore you spit them out?" Kirsten looked at him in surprise.

"Carter I'm sorry but last night I was… upset and _drunk_," she stressed the word drunk. Carter jumped to his feet.

"You're ALWAYS fucking drunk!" he yelled. Kirsten flinched and closed her eyes. What did she expect? A handshake and a resignation?

"Carter, please listen to me. That night at the winery I made a mistake but last night I was out of my mind and you knew it. You knew I was drunk and you took advantage of me," she said rising to her feet.

"What? You came to me! YOU came to MY house and threw yourself at ME! I may have taken advantage but I didn't here you complaining last night." Kirsten stood unable to move. She was ashamed to be standing there having to defend herself.

"I'm so sorry, Carter." She said tearfully, "I didn't wanna do this to you, I… I'm sorry."

"Do you get kicks of crushing men to the ground? Do you think nobody sees the way you act? The fluttering eyelashes, flashing that famous Kirsten Cohen smile. The innocent touch of the hand when you know you're not getting your own way. You don't think that goes unnoticed around the office? You like that men crave you and you play up to it! You're a tease. Well at least I thought you were before you were banging your head off my wall." Kirsten blushed and looked away avoiding his eyes. "Is it an act, Kirsten? Huh?" he went toward her and grabbed her shoulders. He pushed her against the wall and held his face close to hers, "Is this what you want? A little drama?" he asked loudly. He pressed his lips against hers harshly and she tried to push him off. He had her pinned hard against the wall. She tried to move her legs but his body was too close.

"Carter, please don't do this." She said as his hand travelled under her blouse.

"Hey baby we're just having a good time." He laughed and lifted her off her feet. He pulled her knees until they were bent around his waist. Her hands now free from his grasp pushed against his shoulders.

"Carter please you're not like this. Please Carter don't do this." She said panicking. He sucked on her neck and she tried frantically to push him off, "Please Carter please, please…" she repeated. The panic was evident in her voice causing Carter to finally come to his senses. He paused and dropped her to her feet. He was still close enough to smell the shampoo that lingered in his now damp hair. Kirsten's tearstained face brought him back to reality.

"Oh my God Kirsten I'm sorry. I'm… I just…" he was interrupted by a hand on his shoulder pulling him back from Kirsten.

Sandy's fist connected with Carters jaw sending him flying to the floor. He cast a disapproving look at Kirsten; her skirt hiked half way up her thighs and her blouse flapping open. Sandy pounced on Carter and punched him again.

"You stupid son of a bitch!" he yelled and grabbed him by the collar. He lifted him off the floor and slammed him back down. Kirsten pulled on Sandy's shoulders.

"Sandy, stop it! Please stop it!" she repeated. Sandy finally heard her voice somewhere in the background as he continued to slam him to the ground. Kirsten's yells became clearer and he suddenly faltered. He climbed off Carter before collapsing against the wall. Kirsten fell to the floor in exhaustion and watched as Carter lay motionless on the floor.

**Believe it or not I LOVE Carter but I wanted Sandy to seriously kick his ass in this so I hope ya liked it and is he dead? You just gotta wait and see!**


	10. Through The Sliding Doors

**You may be confused when you read this at first but you'll get it about half way through.**

**Thanks for the reviews Lil Miss Kiki, carliechick, KirstenRulez, Panz, michelle, sharkie2008, stephoc, ally and sunny. You guys are awesome**

**Enjoy and please R&R**

Chapter 10

Sandy glanced through the steamed up shower cubicle and sighed. In normal circumstances he would have climbed in there with her. He turned back to the mirror and pulled the razor over his face. He felt like he hadn't shaved in days. He felt grimy as if he was constantly covered in a thick layer of dirt so it was a relief to be splashing cold water on his face. As he started on his teeth Kirsten popped her head out of he shower door, "Could you hand me towel?" she asked face flushed from the steam. Sandy grinned.

"Why don't you come get it?" He noticed her panicked expression and he frowned but before he could question her she answered.

"Because it's cold out there and I don't wanna get the floor wet." Sandy nodded and handed her a fluffy towel. He sighed. Would there ever be normalcy between them again? He left Kirsten to dry off and went into the bedroom pulling a t-shirt over his head as he went. Kirsten followed suit in her dressing gown and settled herself on the edge of the bed. She looked at her clothes neatly laid out next to her and then to Sandy as if waiting for him to leave.

"You want me to leave so you can get dressed?" he asked incredulously. Kirsten started at him open mouthed.

"No I was just… looking at you. I can't do that?" she said hurriedly. Sandy cast her a concerned glance.

"What's going on?" he asked in a low tone. Kirsten's eyes widened looking fearful. She was about to answer but he got there first, "Don't lie to me. There's been enough of that recently." Kirsten visibly sagged under her terry dressing gown. She didn't want him to know. She didn't want Sandy to see what he'd done to her. Slowly she stood up and faced her husband. She dropped her dressing gown to the floor leaving her in only her underwear. Sandy audibly gasped at the sight of her. The bruises on her chest were worse than she remembered and her ribs had gone from purple to a lighter yellow. She was shocked when she saw herself that morning. Sure Carter had been rough with her but she didn't realise how rough. She closed her eyes unable to look him in the eye. When she opened them the space he had occupied was now empty.

She dressed quickly and went down into the kitchen to find him listening to Seth talk about his comic book. She stood in the doorway watching them until Seth had finished talking, "Sandy, we need to talk." Seth turned and frowned uncertainly at his mother. Those words were never good.

"No we don't," Sandy said matter if factly.

"Yes we do. I need to explain…"

"No you don't, Kirsten I know exactly what you're gonna say and it's not gonna make me feel better." There was a silence as both Sandy and Kirsten stared at each other expectantly. Seth cleared his throat and was about to say something before deciding against it and making a quick exit.

"I was trying to hide it. Until they were gone. I didn't want you to see."

"I know. I know you were trying to protect me which makes me even more FUCKING MAD because all I wanna do right now is hate you and I can't because you won't let me." He stopped and the kitchen was quiet except for Sandy's ragged breathing, which eventually turned to sobs, "He's poisoned us. Look at you. I can't ever look at you again without seeing all those bruises. I can never touch you again knowing he's touched you in the same way. He's taken you away from me." Kirsten went to him and placed her hands on his shoulders to stop him from collapsing to his knees. The last thing they needed was Ryan to walk in and see Sandy in a ball on the floor.

"No he hasn't. He hasn't taken me baby I'm still here." Sandy closed his eyes and sighed allowing Kirsten to slip her arms around his waist and lean into his chest, "I'm still here." She whispered softly.

Sandy kissed her on the cheek and watched her walk out the door. She told him she was going to the office but something was niggling at him. The look in her face when she said it or perhaps it was the way she said it. He didn't know. All he knew was that something was up. He grabbed his car keys and got to the driveway just as her car turned the corner.

He followed her for about two minutes when his suspicions were confirmed. She was going in the opposite direction of her office. But he had pretty good idea where she was headed. He felt his knuckles tighten over the steering wheel and his heart pounded ferociously in his throat. He parked behind a van and watched her cross the road in quick strides anxious to get to the other side. The door she was knocking on was to the ground apartment so he drove his car nearer to the glass sliding doors facing onto the road. He was lucky to get a clear view of the living room his wife was sitting in. The next person he saw was Carter dressed in a pair of loose fitting jeans. His blood pulsed through his veins and he gritted his teeth as he watched Carter shoot daggers across the room to his wife. He felt somewhat relieved to see that Carter was angry. At least she wasn't going back for more. He looked down at the gold band on his left hand. She had lied to him again. His heart was torn in two. After everything she'd said to him and promised him. He felt betrayed all over again. He brought his eyes back up to the apartment and he couldn't see anyone. The room seemed empty. He glanced across at her car and saw that was empty too. He turned back to the living room and saw Kirsten's legs being pulled up around his waist and he pushed the car door open forcefully. She DID go back to him. She was lying to him. All that's it about how sorry she was and there she was fucking him in his apartment a day after her marriage almost fell apart. There was no almost about it now. He made a promise to God there and then that he would never forgive her but as he climbed out of the car he heard her yell.

"Please don't… Carter… no… please…"

Sandy broke into a run and raced through the opening in the sliding doors. He saw Kirsten staring in terror at Carter who was holding his hands up breathlessly trying to apologize. Sandy grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him to face him. He punched him square in the jaw and watched as he flew to the ground. He looked at Kirsten and saw her clothes gaping open. The bruises on her chest flashed in front of his eyes and he shook his head. Carter was trying to get up but Sandy was on him in a second. He slammed Carter to the ground venting his frustration and anger over the past twenty-four hours through his fists.

Kirsten stood watching Sandy pummel Carter into the floor for only a second before pulling at his shoulders trying to prise him off. Carter's face was bloody and his eyes were rolling in the back of his head but Sandy showed no signs of stopping. "Sandy, stop it! Please stop it!" she screamed and Sandy suddenly faltered. He fell to the side of Carter and leaned back against the wall. Kirsten fell to the floor in a heap sobbing. Sandy watched Carter frozen on the floor and prayed he would take a breath. 

**You all thought you were getting the aftermath of that didn't ya? Lol well that's the next chapter so look out for it. Please review!**


	11. Alot of Apologies

**Yeh it's been forever. Had some writers block as you'll probably be able to tell by this shitty chapter. Okay it's not that bad but it's not that good. Lemme know what you think.**

**Thanks for the reviews and i promise this IS The Aftermath.**

Chapter 11

Kirsten's breathing remained ragged as she buttoned her blouse as best she could and pulled her skirt back down past her hips. Carter still lay motionless on the floor. Sandy sat in shock as he stared at the sprawled out figure in front of him. Kirsten crawled over to him and placed her shaking fingers against his pulse. It was there. Suddenly his eyes flew open and he lurched from the floor but Kirsten pushed him back down forcefully. "Carter?" she said loudly, "Carter? Don't move," she repeated. Carter was looking around the room fearfully. He spotted Sandy still pushed up against the wall and he gulped. Kirsten placed her hands on the side of his face and forced his gaze upon her, "Carter?" she said firmly.

"I'm okay," he said croakily. His left eye was beginning to swell significantly. He tried to sit up but he winced as pain seared through his chest. Kirsten pushed him back down again onto the floor.

"Don't move," she instructed. She got to her feet shakily still dazed after hitting her head on the wall. She surprised herself by being so calm and in control. Inside she was screaming. It felt like her head was about to explode. She reached for her car keys and watched as Carter got to his elbows and tried to distance himself from Sandy as much as possible. Sandy was staring at a spot in the floor and his right fist was cradled against his chest. Kirsten sighed. She should be looking after her husband not Carter. She went over to Sandy and kneeled next to him.

"Sandy?" she whispered softly, "Hey baby look at me." she said. He turned to her and she noticed the tears for the first time, "Hey come on it's okay. We just have to get him to a hospital and everything will be fine. I promise," she said reassuringly. Her hands were still held firm on the side of his face fixing his gaze, "I promise." Sandy nodded and Kirsten wiped the stray tear that was inching down his face. In a second Sandy was on his feet and walking over to Carter who was eyeing him in fear.

"Look Sandy I'm sorry I…"

"Shut up." He growled as he bent down and wrapped Carter's arm around his neck. He lifted him to his feet and led him out to Kirsten's Range Rover. He settled him in the backseat and took position in the drivers seat. Kirsten sat next to him unable to look him in the eye.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I should have told you I was going to see him."

Sandy didn't answer. He had gone a frightening shade of grey. Kirsten checked he wasn't about to vomit before glancing at the huddled figure in the back seat, "I'm fine. Look I don't need a …"

"Shut up." Sandy growled again and turned the key in the ignition. The rest of the ride to the hospital was in silence apart from the moans coming from Carter as Sandy sped up over the cracks in the road.

The hospital was crowded and no one seemed to take notice of them as they both limped through the doors with a half conscious Carter draped across their shoulders. Kirsten caught a nurse's arm and she managed to get Carter onto a gurney. As he was placed onto the white sheets his eyes drooped further. Kirsten panicked and tapped his face, "Carter? Open your eyes…" but before he could answer he was whisked away by nurse and led him down a long white corridor. Kirsten turned and found that a doctor in the corner of the waiting room was questioning Sandy. She hurried over to find out exactly what Sandy was telling him.

"He was unconscious for a while then he woke up but on the way here he was slipping in and out." The doctor nodded and led Sandy to the reception desk. Kirsten sighed exhausted. She didn't care about documents or insurance. She didn't care that she was sitting in a busy waiting room wearing a ripped shirt and her skirt probably still too far up her legs. As she watched her husband converse with the receptionist she realised that all she cared about was whether or not she and Sandy came out okay in the end. She saw his hand red and bloody from repeated collisions with Carter's face. She also noticed that he was trembling. Guilt couldn't begin to describe her feelings. She had done this. All of it. She had almost been raped by a man she had led on for the past few months and now it was her husband who could be arrested. She put her head in her hands and sighed again more deeply. No tears fell. She was too exhausted to cry. Too exhausted to care anymore whether Sandy could see her or not. She closed her eyes and allowed the hustle and bustle to ebb to the back of her mind. She thought of her kids at school blissfully unaware that their family was slowly but surely being ripped apart. She felt someone else's presence next to her and she looked up expectantly but it wasn't who she wanted it to be. It was the nurse who had wheeled Carter away out of her sight. "Kirsten Cohen?" he asked.

"Yes?" she said wearily.

"Are you in contact with any of Mr Buckley's family? A sibling? Girlfriend?"

"Uh…" Kirsten closed her eyes and shook her head, "I don't know. His ex-wife lives in Nevada and I think his parents are dead. I'm sorry I don't know." The nurse nodded.

"Ok well Mr Buckley is asking for you. He'd like to see you." Kirsten's heart skipped a beat. He was okay. Well enough to ask for her. Although not well enough to remember his next of kin. She sighed and nodded in reply. Sandy joined her on the plastic seats as the nurse returned to Carter's room.

"Is he okay?" Sandy whispered softly.

"Yeah I think so. He wants to see me. I just wanna make sure he's okay. I'll be back." Kirsten said quickly before he could object.

She made her way down the corridor until she came to room 359B. Carter was lying against a large white pillow as a nurse stitched his left eyebrow. She knocked on the door softly before entering slowly pausing at his side before settling on the seat by the window. She waited silently as the nurse finished up before speaking.

"What did the doctor say?" she asked shakily.

"Concussion. I still have x-rays and stuff but I think I'll be okay." Kirsten sighed with relief.

"I'm sorry…"

"It's my fault. I'd have done the same If I was… you know if it was my… I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. Or scare you. And I definitely wasn't gunna rape you. I was just angry…"

"Look I'm sorry okay. About everything. That night a Feather brook and then last night. And for Sandy. He was just…."

"I know. Let's just both be sorry and leave it at that okay?" Kirsten nodded.

"I'm gunna go. Sandy's waiting." Kirsten got to her feet and made her way to the door.

"Kirsten?" he called from the bed, "Tell Sandy I'm sorry."

Sandy watched as his wife walked toward him. The guilt loaded in the pit of his stomach rose to his throat. He knew she went to try and fix things with Carter. To end it and explain. And he tried to rape her. He had tried to hurt her. Her clothes were ripped and her hair was sticking up wildly and still she managed to walk through the waiting room with an air of grace. He wanted her to hold him in her arms. He needed to feel protected this time. Usually he was the one looking after her but this time he was feeling vulnerable. She took a seat next to him and placed her hand on his.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to tell him it was over and I was…"

"It's okay. Lets go home and… sleep. We can talk later okay?" he said wearily. It was only eleven am and it felt like the day should be coming to an end.

Kirsten drove them home in silence. When they arrived home she led him through the house toward their room. She pulled off his shoes and tucked him into bed before changing into an old sweater under Sandy's watchful eyes. She slid under the covers and placed her head on his chest. She could hear his heart beating in his chest. She counted them in threes.

_One._

_Beat._

_Two._

_Beat._

_Three._

_Beat. _

_One._

_Beat._

_Two._

_Beat._

_Three._

_Beat._

As she drifted off to sleep she listened to the one thing she prayed was still hers.

**Please R&R**


	12. This Was It

Hope you guys enjoy the final chapter. Hopefully it's not too smushy lol

Sandy listened intently to the sound of his wife's breathing trying to figure out if she was asleep or not without opening his eyes. His arms tightened around her as his brain caught up with the events of the day. How the heck were they ever going to get over this? Everything in his mind told him it was over. His wife was tainted now with betrayal and lies. But he knew his heart could never let go. Anything would be better than letting her go. He would have nothing to live for if she was no longer his.

"Sandy? Are you awake?" her voice sounded groggy. She had just woken up.

"Yeah i'm awake," he replied softly. He opened his eyes and glanced at the clock. It was 9.15pm. They'd been sleeping for hours, "You wanna get up?" Kirsten nodded and remained where she was.

"In a minute."

A few minutes later Kirsten pulled on an old Berkeley sweater and watched her husband tidy up around the room. He piled their clothes into the laundry basket and collected old coffee mugs and newspapers before heading down to the kitchen. She followed him silently allowing her thoughts to engulf her. She loved him so much it scared her to think about what she'd done to him. He swore he wouldn't leave her. That he'd forgiven her and that no matter what he'd never let her go. She believed him when he whispered those words to her a few hours before but something inside her told her not to be so sure. There was still something in his eyes that told her things had changed. His feelings weren't the same as before. There was something missing. He no longer adored and idolised her. She wasn't his perfect wife. She was no longer the woman he could trust with anything. That's what was missing. Trust. How could he ever again? She sighed and wished the pain coursing through her would stop. She wondered if either of their hearts would ever be mended.

Sandy placed the old newspapers into the recycling and turned to his wife who had followed him downstairs as if afraid to leave him alone long enough to change his mind. He smiled at her and he saw her relax slightly. "Coffee?" he asked holding up the coffee pot. She didn't have time to answer before Seth and Ryan came into the kitchen bickering over Summer.

"I'm telling you man you're wrong. A trip to the Imax is a _perfect_ place to take your girl on a Friday night." Seth explained animatedly.

"So that's why she threw Princess Sparkles at your head?" Ryan said with a frown. Kirsten and Sandy exchanged a glance before attempting to switch to the perfect parents role.

"Hey guys. How was school?" Sandy asked weakly.

"Sucked." Seth looked at his Father, "I'll have some," he gestured to the pot of coffee still held up in Sandy's hand. The two boys sat down by Kirsten and looked at both their parents, "What's wrong?" he asked suddenly. Kirsten's smile widened.

"Nothing... why?"

"Why are you guys dressed like you're about to go to the gym?" Ryan looked pointedly at their sweats and shirts. Sandy laughed.

"We were sleeping on the couch watching a movie. That's all. This is more comfy than my suit." Ryan and Seth shot a glance at one another not entirely convinced. The silence in the room was almost unbearable but the boys knew better than to push it. After a few seconds Ryan go to his feet.

"Have you eaten yet? We could order in. Maybe Chinese?"

Kirsten nodded glad of the change of subject, "Sure i'll run out and get it. Just let me go change." As Kirsten got off her chair everyone seemed to take the opportunity to snap into action. Sandy busied himself with coffee and Ryan and Seth began to set the table. Kirsten sighed. This was gunna be a long journey back to normalcy.

Seth stood by the front door and waited for his mother to finish getting dressed. He wondered what the hell had been going on with his parents. They'd both been acting weird for a few days now. A couple of thoughts had entered his mind. One of them was sick, they were on the brink of divorce or his mother was pregnant. He hoped neither one of them were true. He had no more time to dwell on it as his mother came round the corner car keys in her hand. "Finally," Seth said in mock annoyance,"We're practically starving down here while you're upstairs brushing and moisturising and whatever else you females do before you head out the door."

Kirsten shook her head and followed her son out to the car. She wondered why he'd volunteered to come along with her. The restaurant was only about five minutes away. She didn't need to wonder very long. As soon as they headed out of the driveway Seth turned to her, "So you gunna tell me what's going on?"

"Seth nothing is going on everything's fine." she answered unconvincingly.

"Look you can tell me okay. I'm a big boy. I can handle the truth." Seth waited a second before continuing, " Are you pregnant?"

Kirsten laughed out loud in surprise. She stopped herself trying not to look at her son who seemed completely disgusted at the possibility she might be having a baby, "No Seth. No i'm not pregnant. You don't need to worry about anything your Father and i are fine. We're just... going through some stuff. But it's getting better okay? There's nothing for you to worry about." Seth frowned not entirely appeased but he dropped it. Whatever it was he knew he wasn't gunna get anything out of his mother. Maybe he didn't wanna know. Whatever problems his parents were having probably wouldn't be helped if he and Ryan knew all about it. He nodded his head and looked out to the road.

"Okay."

Sandy spooned some noodles from the Styrofoam container onto is plate and listened as Ryan and Seth discussed which movie they were gunna watch later. He realised that he'd been so preoccupied with the boys that he hadn't really thought anymore about Kirsten and Carter. He almost felt normal again. He wondered how long it would last. He caught his wife's eye across the table and smiled reassuringly. Kirsten nodded slightly and resumed listening to her boys bicker. This was it. This was the life they both wanted. No drama. No lies. No tears. Just family. This is the reason they had to make it work. Without this there would be no reason to go on. She turned back to her husband who was still watching her silently and she mouthed to him across the table, "I love you."

This was all they needed. This was it.

fin.


End file.
